Payback by Melody Carlson

Author:Melody Carlson [Carlson, Melody]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-307-56153-4
Publisher: The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group
Published: 2008-11-01T20:00:00+00:00

Eleven

Ebony cruises around town, occasionally taking a radio call, occasionally talking on her cell. But so far no one has uncovered a thing. Not even Steven’s car, which makes me feel slightly hopeful. Is it possible they’re not together after all? But then if they’re not together, where is Mom? Why hasn’t she called? We even stop by the house just to see if it looks like she’s been home. But everything is exactly the same, and there are no messages from Mom on the landline.

“Anything here that you need?” Ebony asks as we head for the front door.

I look around at what seems a strangely empty house. I mean, all the furniture and things are still here, and it looks pretty much the same as always. But it feels like the people have all abandoned it. Or maybe they’ve simply abandoned me.

“No,” I tell Ebony “Nothing here that I need.” But what I don’t admit is that I need my mom. I need my brother. I need my family There’s a deep ache inside me now, a frightening feeling that nothing is ever going to be right again, like it’s all spinning out of control. And I can barely hold back the tears.

“It seems futile to keep driving around,” Ebony says as we get back in her car. “Maybe we should take a break…wait for someone to call.”

I nod. “Yeah…probably so.”

So she drives us back to her condo, and without speaking much, we go off to our separate spaces. She goes to her room, and I go to the guest room, where I lie down on the bed and just cry. And when I’m done crying, I pray.

Dear God, I plead, please keep Mom safe. Please get her safely home. And although I’m not trying to make a deal with You, I promise to be a much better daughter from now on. I promise that when Mom gets back, I will love her just as she is, God. I’m so sorry I tried to make her into something that she’s not ready to become yet. I know Your timing is perfect, God. I trust You to work things out with Mom. And I promise to simply love her. Help me to love her the way You do, God—unconditionally. Amen. And then I drift into a restless sleep.

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